Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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