HIV tests are more positive than that guy
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
