I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
