GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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