When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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