Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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