I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
