Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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