Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I need moral support for this bender
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
