Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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