You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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