Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
