I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
operation have a gay friend backfired
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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