wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
