My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
