did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Randomize