so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
