So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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