Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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