My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
