It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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