you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You are the jesus of drinking
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
