so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
