i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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