Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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