There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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