Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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