I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
