My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
