Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
im on a boat
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