Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
