We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
