and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
is that a dick in a sweater?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
