Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
