go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
