you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
