She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
