we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize