I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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