So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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