we're blogging at a bar
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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