so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
