I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
