Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize