You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I lost the right to judge tonight
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
