i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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