cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
