Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
