Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize