we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
