I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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