the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
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