What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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