Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
