So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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