My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
