We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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