when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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