she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize