your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
