i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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