Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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