It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
