Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
