separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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