would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So much rum. So many feels.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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