Do you still have your period?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize