do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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