I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
