Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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