Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
