Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
