A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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