feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
