If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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